Crossing the Street

Hello dear readers! I know I have been absent for (gasp!) nearly two months, but I'm back now. I'll attribute my lack of posts equally to technical difficulties, laziness, and a slight depression (depression due to the loss of my iPhone, being in Kolkata, making and losing friends, etc. All of which you'll read about soon.) With the exception of the Let’s Get Real post I haven’t written anything about the near month I spent in Indonesia. I know everyone is dying to hear about my sudden fame in Jakarta, volcanoes and motorbike frights in Bandung, the cave-tubing and friends I made in Jogjakarta, how unimpressed I was with Bali the first time I went there and the festive dancing I saw when I went back, and of course my tales of how I was nearly taken hostage by a tiny island. Still to come are my adventures in Kuala Lumpur and one of the most fascinating people I’ve ever met (seriously, this Chinese girl has led an incredible life), my scuba diving experience in the Perhentians, the friends I made and food I ate in Penang, and how I ended up going to Thailand instead of India. Then I will regale you with tales from the month I spent in Kolkata, West Bengal, India. 

But first,

How to Cross the Street in Asia
 

Pay no mind to the pedestrian crossing light because God knows drivers don’t obey their traffic lights.

Look out for goats

1. From the sidewalk, if there is a sidewalk and you haven’t already been walking in the road, take a tentative step into the street. Watch out for rats, cockroaches, rubbish, and feces because you will be in the gutter.
2. Look left, right, left, right. You are looking for cars, buses, motorbikes, pede-cabs, rickshaws, trains, and any other object bigger than you that could knock you over. This includes large animals such as cows, oxen, or buffalos.
3. If there is none of the above within oh, five meters or so, cross the street. Or cross as many lanes as you can at least. You may very well end up in the middle of the street with vehicles zooming by you in either direction. Be patient and be alert.
4. If there are cars (or whatever) closer than five meters, use your best judgment. Based on the speed and type of vehicle, you may opt to walk into the road anyway but with your arm held out and your hand giving the “STOP” signal. They won’t stop of course, but they may slow down or go around you.
5. If you’ve found yourself in the middle of the road, repeat steps 2-3 until you are safely to the other side.

REMEMBER: Just because it’s a One-Way street does not mean the cars will only be coming from one direction.

REMEMBER: Just because you’re on a sidewalk does not mean there is no risk for a motorbike to come out of nowhere.

If the traffic is so backlogged that the cars cannot move an inch, kindly disregard the above advice and do your best to weave in and out of the vehicles until you reach the other side of the street. Keep in mind that sometimes the traffic is literally bumper to bumper and you may have to climb over a car or a motorbike wheel. Just take comfort in the fact that none of the cars are moving fast enough to cause any real damage if you’re struck.